Care less, ZQ. XD
wugs:
rock bottom is when youtube comments are more intelligent than your government
^
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The powers that be do not want me to have a good night.
Man, let’s say you’re at a party, yeah? And there are people at the party that prefer cake, and people at the party who prefer pie, so the host serves both. Alright, cool.
So you go in for a slice of pie, when suddenly the host CHARGES over and goes “WOAH WOAH WOAH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”
“I’m having some pie, man, chill.”
“What the hell? I thought you had cake last time.”
“Yeah, I did have cake last time. But I’m not feeling the cake tonight. And this is my favorite kind of pie.”
“Ohhh no. I thought you were a CAKE person and now all of a sudden you’re eating pie on me? You’re confusing me! Make up your mind!”
“What’s the big deal, even? There’s plenty of both for everyone.”
“YOU CAN’T LIKE BOTH CAKE AND PIE. YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE.”
But man, fuck that guy, I’m going to have the pie anyway, who cares if I had cake last week.
And then if that pie is so good that I never want any other dessert for the rest of my life, that doesn’t mean I suddenly never liked that cake that I ate.
Actually this metaphor is kind of dumb. I guess I should just leave it at “fuck you.”
No, it’s sweet. In fact, it’s a lovely springboard for the rest of the sexualities. For instance, asexuality:
You’re enjoying the party - the music, the conversation - but you just don’t feel like eating cake or pie.
Suddenly, the host charges over with some cake he’s sure you’ll love. He knows this cake. It’s not too rich and not too dry. You politely refuse.
The party keeps going until the host comes back with a slice of pie, practically shoving it in your hands. You try to refuse again.
“Oh come on, what do you want?”
“Nothing, I’m fine.”
“Are you on a diet?”
“No, I just don’t eat pie. Or cake.”
“…you had a bad experience with dessert, didn’t you?”
“Excuse me?”
“Forgive me if I’m getting too personal, but it had to be something traumatic. Did someone spike a baked good of whatever construction with a laxative?”
“Fuck no. I just have no desire to eat dessert. I’m sure your pies, cakes, muffins, cookies, waffles, wafers, Nutella sandwiches, what have you…I’m sure they are all lovely. Please, serve them to any and all who would consume them. I’m not one of them. Is that really so hard to comprehend?”
“…you just haven’t found the right one.”
I sort of really love dessert metaphors for sexuality because some of the things people say about sexuality are so ridiculous, but people really only notice them with the metaphors.
Also I love them because I like food and I’m going to eat some dessert now.
i can’t not reblog this
how is this wrong or unnatural? i don’t understannnd.
- obama: I'm a better president than you
- romney: but you believe in pro-choice
- obama: women are people too
- romney: suck a dick
- obama: I would but you'd make it illegal
The Rowdyruff Boys had two dads and nobody had a problem with it
One of them was even a cross-dressing devil lobster. Did anybody complain? Nope.
The adorable moment when that’s his real life boyfriend.
OH MY GOOD LORD ARE YOU SERIOUS :3 :3 :3
se
“I’ve changed so much as a person since I’ve met Ellen. I used to think that the way to be strong was to be tough. I used to think that to be independent was to not need anyone. She’s taught me that the more vulnerable you are, and the softer you are, and the more you allow people into your life, and into your heart, the happier you are, and the more valuable you are to other people. Ellen has completely changed the way I look at life. She’s made me not worry about what other people think. I mean I’m still working on that, I have to be honest. But she’s taught me that who I am is perfectly good enough, and that I don’t have to pretend to be anything other than who I am. And that’s been the most incredible gift that she’s given me, that anyone could give to anybody that they love.”
this is the story of how the gays destroyed america
Look at those gays, putting all their gay all over those terrified children
Oh-So-Dramatical-Piratical-Ecstatical: althelamp: Today Yesterday, there was a kid near Adventureland who was... →
TodayYesterday, there was a kid near Adventureland who was about 4 years old or so. he was a wearing a princess crown, had a princess wand, the autograph book was princesses, etc. and there was a grown man teasing him about “being gay”. A grown man.Peter Pan likes to hang…
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