Oh my god, this is me. This is exactly… everything… I guess I never realized it was so bad. I just thought I was awkward. D: I feel… weird now. O_o
so this just happened
I’M LAUGHING SO HARD IT HURTS.
Guess Leo missed the boat on that one
If only he’d missed the other boat.
“Tried taking a picture of a sink draining, wound up with a picture of an eye instead.” (via)
For a second there, I was seriously rapid-blinking in sympathy with whoever had that much soap in their eye.
That’s a stunningly perfect piece of art right there.
SOMEONE OPENED THE GATE
i need. to do this.
HOLY JESUS, RAPIDASH. :O
MARCHING BAND IS NOT A SPORT IT’S A MOTHERFUCKING ART.
This is the best thing ever.
true dat! I was in Colourgaurd in high school & best believe we kno how to do it!!!
One of the worst ways to stop someone from telling sexist jokes is to tell him the joke isn’t funny. He’ll assume that you’re humorless and that he needs to save the good stuff for the right audience. If you really want someone to stop telling sexist jokes, you need to tell him, “I don’t get it” and then step back as he tries not to say, “It’s funny because women are stupid.
This is my Hogwarts room.
So many of you have been asking to see it ever since I told you all I was a 5 year old and have a Harry Potter room…so here it is. I’m fully prepared to be made fun of forever for this, but I love it:) xx
ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW
BRITISH VERSION OF THIS:
1. BOIL THE KETTLE - IF YOU HAVE TO USE A STOVE OR MICROWAVE SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOUR HOUSE
2. USE ANY WATER IN EXISTENCE - FUCK FILTERING THAT SHIT YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO MAKE A PROFILE YOUR SHOW IS BACK ON IN 5 MINUTES PRESS A
3. THROW WHATEVER THE HELL TEABAG YOU HAVE IN THERE - FUCK LOOSE TEA THAT IS FOR WHEN YOU ORDER TEA OUTSIDE
4. USE YOUR STIRRING TEABAG METHOD OF CHOICE, ADD SUGAR/SWEETENER LIKE A BOSS OR NOT IF YOU ARE A HEALTHY BOSS
5. GRUMBLE LIKE A FISHERMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE KETTLE AREA TO GO TO THE FRIDGE TO GET MILK AND BACK TO IT AGAIN AFTER YOU ADD IT
6. RUN BACK TO WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING, TAKE A COMFORT SIP AND THEN EITHER FINISH IT OR FORGET ABOUT IT AND MOAN ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU LET IT GO COLD
****EDIT: IF YOU CAN’T SPOT IF NOT FROM THIS ALONE THEN THE NATURE OF MY TUMBLR THAT I’M NOT MAKING A DIG AT HER COMIC SIMPLY POINTING OUT HOW LAZY WE ARE OVER HERE WITH TEA THEN GET OFF THE INTERNET. THE COMIC COVERS ALL TEA OPTIONS. COME AT ME BRO.
THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION
JUST GET THE BLOODY BILLY ON THE FIRE AND THROW IN A FISTFUL OF TEA FOR EACH BUGGER AFTER THE WATER BOILS
TAKE OFF FIRE
WAIT UNTIL IT REACHES DESIRED STRENGTH
CAPABLE OF SUPPORTING A SPOON STOOD UPRIGHT IN IT IS IDEAL
WHACK BILLY TO ENCOURAGE SINKING OF TEA LEAVES
POUR IT OUT
ADD AS MUCH MILK AND SUGAR AS YOU LIKE OR NOT AT ALL
VEGEMITE IS ACCEPTABLE
DRINK IT DOWN WHILE RIDING OFF INTO THE OUTBACK ON YOUR BIG RED KANGAROO ON A SADDLE MADE OF DROPBEAR PELTS, WITH YOUR TRUSTY BRUMBY PACKING ALONG YOUR SWAG AND A DINGO BY YOUR SIDE
WHAT IS ENGLAND DOING?
OK NOW COPY THAT SHIT AND JUST CHANGE A FEW THINGS
NO PUSSY REAL “TEAWARE”, WE HAVE NORMAL COFFEE MUGS FOR THAT SHIT.
USE WHATEVER APPLIANCE YOU WANT TO HEAT THE DAMN WATER, YEAH WE SIGNED OUR FUCKING FREEDOM. NO ONE SAID IT WAS MANDATORY FOR KETTLES!
SIT LIKE A CLASSY MAN/WOMAN AND WAIT FOR IT TO BOIL
EAT SOME BACON
THROW A TEABAG IN THERE, LOOSE TEA IS FOR MY MONARCHIST AUNT.
DUMP SO MUCH SUGAR IN IT THAT YOU GET DIABETES AND SO MUCH MILK THAT YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE AND MILK THE COW, BETSY.
TAKE A SIP.
SCALD YOURSELF AND ALMOST DROP MUG, SPILLING IT DOWN THE FRONT OF YOUR BACK IN THE PROCESS.
REALIZE TEA ISN’T TOO MUCH OF YOUR THING AND GO BACK TO COFFEE.
FIND A CUP(?) (ANY CLEAN, CUP-LIKE INSTRUMENT WILL WORK)
FILL IT WITH TAP WATER
ADD FIVE SPOONFULS OF INSTANT ICED TEA POWDER
STIR THAT SHIT SO HARD YOU SPILL SOME ON THE COUNTER, LET GO OF THE SPOON SO YOU CAN WATCH IT SPIN
DRINK IT AND CHOKE BECAUSE IT’S TOO SWEET
POUR SOME INTO THE SINK AND ADD WATER IN HOPES THAT IT WILL TASTE ACCEPTABLE
REPEAT UNTIL YOU GET IT RIGHT
ADD ICE CUBES AND A STRAW TO ENHANCE CLASSINESS
FUCK THE KETTLE, JUST TAKE THE PAIL FROM THE SAUNA
IF THE WATER ISN’T BOILING, YOU’RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG
TOSS THE BIRCH VIHTA IN THE WATER AND LET IT SEEP FOR A WHILE
GET A BOTTLE OF VODKA
DRINK THE VODKA
FORGET THE “TEA” UNTIL IT COOLS DOWN
RINSE YOUR NAKED BODY WITH THE BIRCH TEA
GO ROLL IN THE SNOW AND SCREAM FOR YOUR ANCIENT GODS
BOIL WATER IN ELECTRIC KETTLE
TAKE OUT INSTANT COFFEE
…WHAT DO YOU MEAN “TEA”?
GET A POT AND PUT SOME WATER AND A BUNCH OF TEA BAGS IN THAT SONOFABITCH
BOIL THAT SHIT
PUT THAT SHIT IN A PITCHER
KEEP ADDING SUGAR
NO, YOU’RE NOT DONE YET
WHEN THE SUGAR HAS REACHED ITS SATURATION POINT AND IS NO LONGER ACTUALLY DISSOLVING IN BOILING WATER THEN YOU’RE DONE
(i am not making this up i know people who make it that way)
FILL THE REST OF THAT SHIT UP WITH WATER AND PUT THAT MOTHERFUCKER IN THE ICEBOX
ENJOY THAT SHIT WITH A NICE TASTY PLATE OF DEEP-FRIED THINGS
THAT IS EXACTLY HOW MY FATHER’s MOTHER MAKES HER SWEET TEA
(How in the world do I still have teeth, geez)
REAL AMERICAN VERSION
THROW TEA IN HARBOR
Suddenly the greatest tea post, oh my word.
IF YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE TEA YET, THERE’S NO HOPE THAT YOU’LL EVER GET MARRIED! OH WHAT VILL THE NEIGHBOURS SAY, YOU HAVE SHAMED MY AND MY MOTHER- YOU ARE NO DAUGHTER OF MINES!
in the words of my mother.
Remember the time Barney tried to pick up girls as the Terminator?
I’m just gonna sit here and watch that third gif aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall night.
How in God’s name would this NOT work?!
Odori-don is a sushi dish with a dead octopus that dances when soy sauce is poured on it.
NOBODY WOULD EAT THIS OMIGOSH
DON’T TELL ME IT’S DEAD
DEAD THINGS DON’T DANCE
I MEAN, BESIDES THE ZOMBIES IN THRILLER BUT
IT’S AN OCTOPUS
OH MY GOD WHAT THE CRAP IS THIS I HATE IT OH MY GOD D:
WHY WOULD ANYONE EAT THIS
WHY DOES THIS EXIST